"He Should"

"He should...."

People living in a fantasy land of "should" will have no capacity in the moment to deal with reality.

"He should listen to me,"

"He should just pick up the canter when I ask"

"He shouldn't look around"

Whatever your "should" is, face reality. Should is the fantasy, what is happening right now is happening regardless of our ideas. The horse didn't read the manual, watch the videos, or listen to the podcasts. He doesn't know what "should" mean, and the more time we spend blathering on and complaining about what they are and aren't doing, the less time we are actually riding.

"Shoulds" keep us REACTIVE, instead of PROACTIVE. It creates emotionally charged riding, which gets abusive before we even realize it. From our "should" perspective, we feel a righteous justification, but from the outside can look like a straight on temper tantrum.

If you are facing a behavior or situation and find yourself with the "shoulds," pause. Breathe. Think. What is it you want? Why is the horse doing or not doing what bothers you? How will the horse bridge the gap from where they are to where you want them to be? How will you make this work? You may need to ask for help, or just slow down, but all of these are better options than getting reactive.

It is essential when riding to understand theory and how each moment of a horse's interactions with us translates to the bigger picture - how leading translates to cantering and so on, to keep us riding logically and not reactively.