The Trap

“The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.”

― Carlos Castaneda (quoting Don Juan Matus)

It's nice to have community support, and approval of our friends in what we do with our horsemanship. But sometimes, until we are able to let that need go, we will fail to see the horse (and ourselves) clearly.

The path to knowledge and understanding is wrought with pitfalls. First, we have to be willing to see, and what we see isn't always comfortable. As our understanding develops, we may find ourselves increasingly at odds with the status quo around us. This presents a choice: retreat into the familiar, carrying the discomfort of knowing we're only living half-heartedly, or, venture forward into the unknown, perhaps alone, trusting that we're following a path with heart.

We have to be willing to go against the crowd, even when that crowd includes those we love or who have traveled with us for a long time. We have to learn to bear the judgements without allowing them to dictate what we see. We have to learn to see that the reality in front of us is often not at all the way we thought it was, presented in a neat little package that fits in the comfort zones of the majority. Sometimes the horse calls for us to be completely different than our barn culture tolerates, or our friends and sometimes even teachers may question our observations.

Many movers and shakers have faced this dilemma. It takes courage to follow the pull of our own developing understanding, particularly when doing so means stepping outside the approval of those around us.

And yet, this leads us to a second dilemma, one that can ensnare those who initially find the courage to venture beyond conventional thinking.

This trap is to become enamored with the idea of oneself: to believe that there is something uniquely intelligent in us, superior to the crowd who are unwilling to move beyond its limitations. To begin reframing the narrative of any mistakes in judgement or behavior, or the judgement of others, as necessary framework from a maverick. To become so enraptured with our own position in life that we lose humility enough to see that simply going against the grain is not inherently a virtue: the virtue is seeking truth, not seeking individuality through self absorption. Going against the grain is not inherently virtuous, if it is done through ego and not the pursuit of truth.

And so, the pursuit of knowledge lies in humility and strength in equal measure: strength to move beyond the opinions of others, and humility enough to realize that we ourselves are not much different from any other - no better, no worse. The truth is offered to all who are willing to reach out and take it. The difference lies not in some special quality we possess, but in the opportunities we encounter and the choices we make.